Chapter 11 - ROMAN CAME TO DINNER WITH NO BODYGUARD, NO DRIVER, AND NO PLAN
Roman arrived eleven minutes early.
Claire stared through the restaurant window.
“That is unacceptable.”
He looked confused.
“What?”
“I said seven.”
“It’s 6:49.”
“Yes.”
“You prefer late?”
“No.”
“I can walk around the block.”
Claire almost laughed.
“Sit down.”
Roman obeyed.
Small Italian restaurant in Lincoln Park.
No private room.
No security detail Claire could see.
No owner rushing to greet him.
Roman looked almost uncomfortable.
“Have you been here?”
Claire asked.
“No.”
“Good.”
“Why?”
“I wanted somewhere nobody is afraid of you.”
Roman considered.
“Reasonable.”
A waiter brought menus.
Roman actually read his.
Claire watched.
“What?”
He asked.
“Nothing.”
“You’re staring.”
“I’m adjusting to you asking what pasta costs.”
Roman closed the menu.
“I remain capable of reading numbers under forty dollars.”
She smiled.
Then the conversation became difficult.
As it needed to.
Claire asked about prison.
Roman answered.
Not stories designed to gain sympathy.
Routine.
Noise.
Loss of privacy.
Men asking him for legal advice because they assumed rich people understood law.
He did not pretend prison had purified him.
“I was still angry.”
He said.
“At who?”
“Everyone.”
“Me?”
“Yes.”
Claire appreciated that.
“For divorcing you?”
“For leaving before I could become someone worth staying for.”
“That sounds like your problem.”
“It was.”
Good.
Roman continued.
“Then I realized you had already waited through eight months of marriage built on missing truth.”
Silence.
“I wasn’t entitled to more.”
Claire looked at her water.
“Did you hate me?”
Roman asked.
“Yes.”
“Do you now?”
“No.”
That seemed to hurt and comfort him simultaneously.
“Do you love me?”
Claire looked up.
Bold.
Still Roman.
“I don’t know.”
He nodded.
No argument.
“Do you love me?”
She asked.
“Yes.”
Immediate.
“That seems unhealthy.”
“Possibly.”
She laughed.
Then became serious.
“Why?”
Roman thought.
“Because you make me account for myself.”
“Terrible reason.”
“You built something after Daniel died instead of attaching yourself to someone stronger.”
“Groundwork?”
“Yes.”
“You protect Maddie without teaching her fear.”
“I try.”
“You tell me no.”
“That cannot be unique.”
“In my old life?”
He almost smiled.
“Very.”
Claire looked down.
“And because I miss you when nothing dramatic is happening.”
That one landed.
“What do you mean?”
“I miss you complaining about suppliers.”
“You saying the upstairs radiator sounds haunted.”
“You reading invoices while eating cereal.”
“You correcting me when I fold towels wrong.”
“I fold them normally.”
“No.”
She laughed.
Roman continued—
“I used to think love was proven by what I would destroy for someone.”
Claire’s smile faded.
“That sounds like you.”
“I know.”
He caught himself.
“Sorry.”
“It’s allowed.”
He smiled faintly.
“Now I think it may be what I refuse to destroy.”
Claire looked at him.
“Your freedom.”
“Maddie’s relationship with Daniel.”
“Your work.”
“Your right to leave.”
The restaurant noise softened around them.
Claire swallowed.
“That sounds suspiciously healthy.”
“I had expensive counseling.”
She laughed.
“Prison therapist?”
“And afterward.”
“You stayed in therapy?”
“Yes.”
Roman looked mildly offended.
“Apparently emotional competence is not self-installing.”
That made Claire laugh hard enough the waiter looked over.
Dinner lasted two hours.
No kiss.
Roman did not ask.
Outside, snow had begun.
Claire tucked her hands into her coat.
Roman stood beside her.
“No driver?”
“No.”
“How are you getting home?”
“I drove.”
“You?”
“Yes.”
“Should Chicago be concerned?”
“Deeply.”
She smiled.
Then Roman said—
“I need to tell you something before this becomes anything.”
Claire’s stomach tightened.
“What?”
“I still own businesses.”
“I know.”
“Legitimate.”
“So everyone claims.”
“Independent audits available.”
She almost smiled.
“I have money.”
“Yes.”
“I have enemies.”
That mattered.
“From before?”
“Some.”
“Danger?”
“Low.”
“Not zero.”
“No.”
Claire appreciated the answer.
“I will never tell you zero to make you comfortable.”
Good.
“I also have conditions from my plea agreement.”
“Travel reporting.”
“Financial monitoring.”
“Restrictions on certain associations.”
Claire nodded.
“And?”
Roman looked at her.
“If you decide you want a life with someone uncomplicated…”
His mouth tightened.
“…I will understand.”
Claire stared.
“Roman.”
“Yes?”
“You once called me a complication.”
His face closed with shame.
“I remember.”
“Now you’re offering me an uncomplicated man?”
“No.”
She stepped closer.
“Good.”
Roman stopped breathing.
“I’m not interested in uncomplicated.”
His eyes searched hers.
“I’m interested in honest.”
Snow touched his hair.
Claire remembered charcoal suits.
Black coffee.
The proposal.
I’m good at staying.
Then the hallway.
Useful.
Stable.
Complication.
Maddie isn’t my responsibility.
All of it remained.
That was the point.
Love did not require amnesia.
Claire reached up.
Touched his face.
Roman did not move.
“Can I kiss you?”
She asked.
His expression changed.
“Yes.”
She kissed him.
Slow.
Nothing like their first marriage.
No assumption.
No urgency.
When she stepped away, Roman’s eyes remained closed for half a second.
Claire almost smiled.
“This does not mean we’re back together.”
“I know.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“Still allowed.”
“Thank you.”
“It means I wanted to kiss you.”
Roman nodded.
“I can work with that.”
“No acquisitions.”
“Right.”
She walked to her car.
Roman called—
“Claire.”
She turned.
“What?”
“Thank you for dinner.”
“Seven dollars for your pasta was mine.”
“It was twenty-six.”
“You remembered.”
“I’m good with numbers.”
She smiled.
Then drove away.
For the first time, Roman did not follow.
Did not send security.
Did not call to make sure she arrived unless asked.
Claire texted twenty minutes later.
Home.
His reply—
Goodnight.
Nothing else.
No pressure.
No claim.
Claire put down the phone.
Daniel’s final message returned.
If somebody stays…
Don’t punish him because I couldn’t.
Claire cried.
Not because Daniel had given permission.
She did not need permission from the dead.
Because he had understood what grief might tempt her to do.
Freeze love in place.
Protect memory by refusing future.
She would not do that.
Not for Roman.
Not yet.
May you like
But she finally allowed herself to believe that wanting him again did not betray Daniel.
It simply meant she was alive.
